Thursday, July 28, 2011

The answers to hardships...





Rainy days are the perfect time to reminisce. I reread my past entries in my old blog and there was one entry which made me so thankful to God. I wrote the blog The Child Talks last September 2010. At that time, I was so stressed with work. I have big dreams which I was not sure if I should continue reaching because it seemed that life has become so hard and that might be how it really is.

10 months after....


(here's the answer to my entry)

THE CHILD TALKS


What's there to write? How would readers be entertained with my ordinary life when I have nothing to write but disappointments, complaints, and darkness?

When I was a kid, I used to dream so big. I wanted to become an actress, or a popular singer, or like every girl's dream, to find a prince charming who would take me to a life full of pleasures and happiness. As I grew, I started to adjust my dreams because I realized that they were not going to happen. I ended up being a teacher. Although I was earning a little, I still enjoyed what I was doing because I got to sing during school activities, directed plays, and taught theater arts. At that time, I still believed that I will go far.
But when the need to earn more kicked in, I saw that teaching in the academe would not be enough anymore. Yes, I believed I will go far. From a trainer, I became a training manager. My title changed but I am totally far from reaching any pleasurable life. I ended up taking more and more responsibilities, sleeping lesser and lesser, but not enjoying life the way I envisioned myself to have.

I still have responsibilities, but this time, I was able to get better sleep with the help of my supplements. Back then, I was not taking any vitamins because I thought that it was just for kids. If you are healthy- you can take on any task. But now, I realized how important it is to take supplements. It doesn't mean that I am sickly. It just means that I love the body I was given so I should take care of it. Now, I feel better everyday even if I just got 3-4 hours of sleep. And now, I am starting to enjoy my daily life. .
I dream of going to different places, but now, I couldn't even file for a vacation leave. I want to earn more, but now, my salary doesn't get any higher whether I extend and stay 14 hours in the office or come in during my rest days.
I still dream of travelling- but this time- my goal is to travel to Europe next year! Where will I get the money for that travel? It's just free! (Wanna find out how? Ask me) A few more weeks and I will never have to file for vacation leaves anymore. I will have lots of time with my family and friends! I will never have to work 14 hours and not get paid for the extra hours. Today, I get paid based on how hard I work. And money will not be an issue. It will not just be enough but in abundance.

I want to continue dreaming and believing that everyone is meant for something big. Is that for real or is it time for me to face the fact that not everyone gets to become a Manny Pacquiao or Charice Pempengco? The child inside me is dying. It seems like every time I hope for something bigger and better, someone will just smash the truth to my face that life isn't candies. How can ordinary people with wages of 14k survive even with kids?

Is this the farthest I can go? is this everything I'll ever be? Everyone gets a break. Where is mine? Or Am I past my big break? Are most people meant to be slaves in companies?
Grabe! Super nakakaiyak nman, I just realized how I was close to losing hope that I am meant for something big. YES!!!! I AM REALLY MEANT FOR SOMETHING BIG. I was meant to help other people like me who are losing faith and show them that hope is not lost. Life doesn't have to be hard. We just have to find the right opportunity. Being rich is not given to a few- it is there for all of us to grab if we just take the initiative and see that it is there. I saw my BIG BREAK- and it is waiting for me.

Quitting my job just to get a rest often comes in my mind. But no. My prince charming doesn't own a kingdom to let me just take care of the house and the baby. Like most ideal partners do, I have to divide my time between work and personal life to assure the prince that he is not neglected. Balancing these can really be a pain in the neck. Often, I find myself more stressed trying to be perfect for the two- a responsible manager for my trainers, and a responsible girlfriend and mother. I end up so drained. This is something big... could this be what I am meant for? But if it is, where is pleasure? And who takes care of me while I take care of the whole world? I hope it doesn't mean that if you are good in finding solutions for problems, you end up being the one to always look for a solution. I am tired. My dreams are the only ones that give color to life. But I can't see where my dreams are anymore.

I look at my monitor and see how colors of the cells in excel reach through December. I guess I won't be taking a break till the holidays. Please... if there is any hope out there for me, come find me.
 Hallelujah.  It took really 7 months for "hope" to find me. Quitting my job? I finally did in replacement for something far better. And this time, I can now make my dreams come true for my families. It is not just a dream anymore. I am on my way to getting it.

Sometimes, we lose hope that there is a way for a better life. Or most of the time, we limit ourselves on what we can do that we stick to our sulky situation because we have no other choice. "No one ever achieved greatness by playing it safe.” We have to step out of our comfort zone and reach for our dreams. I am thankful that God answered my cries.


Can you relate to my blog entry last September? It doesn't have to be about work really- it can be about how hard life is at home- in school etc. I can help. Give me a try. Just ask me how.

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